Total Pageviews

Monday, April 20, 2015

It's still that funny long story that's too short, after all, for those with an okay attention span.

I came in just after twilight. Alleged older sister was sobbing over some mysteriously tragic event. Maybe she'd fallen and hurt herself again, as she was prone to, or had been "bad", caught and whooped with "dad's" leather belt...
She was crying too hard for me to ask her anything and get an answer that wasn't inaudible for the inevitable hiccups, left me thinking the worst... bein' perty n alll.. So I went to the mother figure and asked, "what happened?"
As I remember it, I think she started off, "Nothing, don't worry about it." That level of hysteria wasn't nothing. Of course something happened. I asked, "did she fall down and get hurt again?"
"No, don't worry about it. I'll tell you later."
"Did she do something? Is she in trouble? Did she get punished?"
"No. I'll tell you later. Go watch television."
I didn't understand why the woman wouldn't just say what's what. "Are you taking her to the hospital again for stitches?" ...Or something like that. I just kept asking questions like a toddler, though I was almost ten and she kept saying, "I'll tell you later." More than a couple of times. But then she finally revealed that she had been reading about thatallegedly famous haunted house where red glowing eyes were said to have menaced through a window... and the oldest alleged sister that was sobbing so hard believed that she saw red glowing menacing demon eyes through her own window.
"Oh." Then I went to go watch tv and wait for the sobbing older alleged sister to calm down enough that other questions could be asked. It was a cartoonish nonadventure. That's it. Not much longer than the short version, after all.
So which is better?

Saturday, April 18, 2015

funny long story made short but still long for those with short attention spans and it's less funny...

A mother figure was allegedly reading a book about a house famed to be haunted.
At the same time, her oldest daughter that knew when a bike was being stolen, because. of the alleged vision of it,during a move, among other small things, saw evil red glowing eyes through the window and screamed bloody murder, allegedly.
And so mother figure puts the book down, leaving off from the part of the ghostly demon pig with red glowing eyes and looking in the window malevolently at the mother in the book as the mother figue goes to have a look-see at what her troublesome daughter was up to.
That's where I come in, because it had gotten dark, to find the oldest daughter sobbing and her mother, for some inexplicable reason, not wanting to explain this mental brain wave connection that she'd rather forget about and pray that it won't hold up her spiritually evolution or rather, lack of it.
There's a much longer version of the why of it that I have a rough draft of, if anyone could possibly be interested, as it explains my own useless visions of things missing or appearing and things other people were reading. I thought about the compulsions of whether or not it was a good idea to explain my theory of irrational feelings that some villainous character was going to try to kill me, hit me with a car or shoot me with a gun.
Lo and behold, someone I knew happened to be reading about the fictional villain I described and was looking over my shoulder for. So the paranoia was real but the cause for it was just a brain wave of a stupid book (or movie, even!) which is another long short long story..
It's just some experience that prooves to me that demons are not "real" and I do not believe in things made up by those with and from the rotten foundations of tempering out for false gain.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

If I can understand myself then what could POSSIBLY be the problem...

Years ago, I tried my hands at dowsing more than a few times. I tried using the rods to answer yes and no questions; if I had a spirit guide (before I saw possible spirits as parasites),if it had something to tell me, if there was an easy quick way to go west and stare at rocks until they move... The results were inconclusive. Zilch. Those rods swing about really too easily fast in the suggested loose grip. It took moments to accustom myself
as I tried for winning lottery numbers. Nothing. I tried an experiment where I told an acquaintance that's a wrestling fan and must've been thinking of wrestling as I told him to hide some quarters under some pumpkin sized river rocks in the yard and to nott tell me where they were. I explained to him my theory that dowsing rods, like a talking board or tarot cards, connects to the dark matter of the subconscious that is aware of everything that learns us through our senses we learn from to even have a mind to seek reason or wisdom and that if I could learn to consciously connect or reconnect what divisions had occurred, to gain my know-all subconcious, then I'd finally be able to figure out an easy way to go west and stare at rocks until they move.
I said to him that I'm gonna ask the question outloud but he was to ignore me, say nothing and just be a witness. When I finally got the rods straight and calm and I was focused and ready, I said to myself outloud, "Is there a quarter under this rock?"
And my acquaintance answered surely, "No."
I turned to him and said, "don't answer me. I'm not asking you. I'm asking myself ." I remember thinking that my christian acquaintances would be calling this witchcraft and be trying to hurl these big river rocks at me, not even getting flung as close as my feet and I started to smile. They're big little pumpkin sized river rocks that I asked him to line up with about 3 foot spaces inbetween..
I may not be using the rods "correctly" but this was my experiment to see what's what. It's not a great start, middle or finish but...
So I went to the next rock. "Is there a quarter under this rock?"
"No." Just as quickly, he answered .
I turned towards him chuckling. How could he not understand my simple yet specific instruction of "do not answer me..."?
I explained again how I'm asking myself these questions and again, just be a silent witness.
On to the next rock, stilling the spinning rods and trying to remain focused. "Is there a quarter under this rock?"
"Umm, yes."
Now I'm laughing, hard, which is bad for my lungs. I don't understand why I'm not understood. I can barely get out, "SHUT UP BLEEP-IT!"
My experiment was a brilliant failure and we both laughed and laughed. I'm not sure if he understood what I found funny or if I could ever truly understand if he finally did in the end but I put the rods away as I had the talking board and tarot, useless diversions that they are. $1.50 in quarters had been hidden, I believe it was. I guess I'm like.Wyl E. Coyote, or however you spell it, trying something that doesn't work and setting it aside for the next thing, having lost my focus to concentrate on finding something by strengthening a conscious connection to my subconscious .
After explaining after the third try I think he finally understood but it shouldn't have been so hard. This was years ago, I think I wrote about it before the Sandy flood and not finding those notebooks... or did I just think of looking for them without actually looking for them...
The rods spun, crossed, danced. They didn't cross, spin, dance. There was a quarter, there wasn't a quarter. I can't remember photographically but should. Having a photographic memory was a wish I blew birthday candles out over.

Friday, April 10, 2015

An Emporium '$ new WHAT!?!

Words are very important. Meanings should be honest and concise. Calling someone something that's not nice and usually untrue may hurt the feelings as the name caller intended as inspired but it doesn't have to be that way. We fall down and get hurt not expecting life to be an untainted heaven of perfection, as has been rebutted at me for wanting that honesty, as if it's too much to ask for while false promises are still being made, which I do not accept.
Yes, throwing objects could hurt others physically but sometimes a broken bone or torn flesh can mend quicker than years and years of name calling and lies, except for when the trauma of physical attack could outweigh if not equal such harm. It just takes a well placed word or two to do damage or fix the problem but only if EVERYONE is listening and capable. They've got to motivate themselves with the understanding and not give up their honest potential to the traditions of being subjects to bad ideas that need the popo to grab a plunger...

There's this magical cloth that everyone is said to have that's to be kept clean and shine, though it seems like no one is doing this, not those that most insist on it anyway. Now if you're lucky enough to believe in this magical cloth and convince everyone else that yours is cleaner than theirs, especially because those with the cleanest cloths they say are clean because they say so if they say there's a magical cleaning agent in the sky that automatically keeps them clean because they said so, more than the average others, these people win entry into a wondrous magical place when they give up the ghost. Even though most people aren't sure how to agree on how to define this magical cloth, where it comes from, where it's kept, how to keep it pristine, exactly, it is a major source of concern.
Other people worry about the magic cloths of others and are willing to fight and kill over it or risk getting their own magic cloth dirty in manipulating others to fight and kill over... the tarnishing of other magic cloths. I would think that everyone should see how such actions would soil the magic cloths as those that assure us that we do have them and they must be so very clean... are mostly leading trumpet charges into mud fights and far flung poo...
Some say that there are creatures that are smarter and stronger than human yet not having their own alleged magic cloths, they want to take and soil what they can. It's preached that "ALL acknowledge a magical cloth giver of total wisdom and power..." yet disputes are not magically resolved even and especially when this magic cloth giver is used without actually doing anything. So these allged creatures allegedly want these magic cloths even though they aren't visible cloths, and the creatures aren't visible, have no weight or real substance, are somehow more of a secret to the magic cloth holders than those that allege to know all about it, while we spin on a six thousand year old turtle in the center of space... Whatever these creatures they speak of could want someone's magic cloth for also remains a mystery, like anyone can really eat an imagined cake where the only substenance is as thin a fleeting thought.
I'm not takikng anyone's word for it for as much as a grain of salt, especially if the "foundation" of this "knowledge" comes from those that have always made stuff up with motives, even without being supported by an actual giant 6 thousand year old or whatever turtle in the center of space and all that.
It's a bully of a system to intimidate and all the white satin and gold and silver trim in the world is not going to hide the filth that followers of certain magic cloth followings refuse to see as they ignore it.
Also, if their idea of clean means hiding their child porn, should I play in the dirt more? Somehow, I'd rather just do my own dusty thing and not worry about comparing my evil deeds to their shiny goodness.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Being redundant...

Sometimes, something will happen. There's an urge to comment or make a joke, either a stupid joke or a thoughtful one that gets repressed as it's mulled over a second longer. The moment was there. It gets passed up. Someone else says it. It may not even be what the small or large group of a bunch of people and their dog would be willing to admit to thinking. And sometimes others say, "That's exactly what I was thinking!"
Sometimes something will happen. Then there's an urge to put a fist through someone's skull or at least gently push that someone down... a flight of stairs ...That thought. is strongly. repressed, only to hear that it happened elsewhere, a short time later... And couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Or maybe it could. It seems horrible things happen to nice people all the time, despite anyones belief system.
Knowing when a phone will ring and who has called, not getting on that airplane for the feeling that angels are waving at you not to, not eating that iffy smelling tuna salad. Well, the last one is obvious.
Science has proved that brains generate waves in this ocean of air we breathe and and are smothered in by harmful thoughts of others outnumbering any good thoughts. A feminine side and a masculine side urged by institutionalizing entities. to fight over false dominance. As matter with organs and brains that function on their own volition, chemically, living bodies absorb all sorts of cues, patterns like snowflakes forming knowledge in that crystalline growth accumulating information unmeasured.
It's been said that hypnosis can help people lose weight, quit smoking or burn themselves by touching a normal temperature plastic pen or freeze their hands on a warm wooden pencil. The things that any subconscious mind might be able to accomplish for the betterment of self or/and all if only we weren't held back by strange notions intended to harm, as it's said to be for everyones own good that assuming-self leaders spend resources that kill.... Machines, pollution, explosions, toxins...
When I was a child that believed anything was possible because that was told to me, and promised, I hoped, prayed and wish on my awful birthday cakes for things to be that certain way that I thought would make everyone happy, in the same way there are still people that would wish for world peace in this world where so many people want to be the good versus evil, to war on and win against, longing to end a sucker punch in their own broken -in backdoor debasements. So many trojan horses gallop untethered.
I had some daydreams of being a scientist and inventing a box that could deconstruct trash into instant energy and my desire (evil as I was and that no one knew the depths of my depravity ) was to give this to everyone. Praying, hoping and wishing on my horrible birthday candle blowing no wish that ever happened... How can the magical wonders of childhood not be disappointing and why would people do that to children unless there was some sickness the actions and beliefs serve. So that did not help in my search to be smart for science and of course,neither does that poor belief of there being things only a god could know. If there's anything that any world needs, it's to not wait for a god to wipe our... noses. You cannot be responsible for yourself or a soul if you're waiting for a god to tell you what to do while the leaders are in the barn having orgies with your expencive teddy bear collection. It's enough to put someone out of their mind until they start to float away.. So if someone is out of their mind with the mental stresses that a god does not put more on people than they can handle, allegedly, their levitation is either godly or demonic. It couldn't possibly be because of unstudied mysteries of the subconscious mind, in the brain/body that functions chemically to achieve life and a will to live, the natural cultivation to survive even when voices that say othernonwise of what is preached. Saying that there are things that only god should know is saying we are all to stick our fingers into wall outlets as if only god is to know what will happen.
I do not suppose that I'm the first to suggest that reasonable counter debates needs to be repeated as much as zealots repeat singing useless praises that worsen these religious infections. Only Only charlatans claim the lack of their own comprehension is a gift.
Everyone could deepen their own understanding of their own subconscious, except that many preconceived notions must first be discarded. If something wasn't true to begin with, is anything being lost or stolen?. If there's pain, it's from ripping the lie out and looking at it for what it is, not worth anything for all the time and energy of devotion that other people that should not have been trusted took..
The deeper you go into this uncharted sea, the more you know of its innocence in the depth that requires acclimation. There are levels in altitude above sea level. It's basically the same t thing. Distractions have probably made this make less sense than what I handwrote. If there are no comments to the contrary I'll know I'm reasonably understood... And so, All environments affect the way of thinking. They even show their onion layers when you look at fog on different ground levels, like deeper oceans under water, how smoke flattens out from a chimney or drifts as a splotchy cloud of insects.
I've heard that crazy people can drive sane people bananas. Yet some people think that if a psychiatric "professional expert" claims to have seen any levitations and other phenomenon, that it prooves there are demons that possess in that in that religious way, like those accused of being witches were really demon fornicating witches with unwholesome powers they never used so that they could be killed by "righteous " witch hunters.
Maybe the shrinks have gone shrunken head bananas or are just trying to sell what they can for the calling, if they think their religion could use the inspired help.
I've heard masses of people can share hallucinations and I've seen that such is possible. Besides moldy bread and bad ideas that have groups killing each other and with the lead, lickable frogs and amount of mercury exposed to dry windy elements. of evaporated spore-like qualities and the breeding of mushrooms and unchecked thoughts because an institution claims the monopoly on high strangeness, it's not likely we'll be in control of ourselves anytime soon, or our own consciousness or have any true free will.
Oh, it seems there's much exposed mercury. in and around places where unbelievable sightings occur quite frequently. And besides so many other toxins imbibed within and without the so called food chain, suggestions made to people under those influences that attack mind, body, and subconscious, under the influence of any material that would be hazardous. if you aren't aware of what made you dizzy, lightheaded with heavy feet, twitchings and bouncing into invisible realm boulders of odd shapes that were not there. a moment ago and somebody really is out to get you besides just anything leading to limitations, feelings of being watched and all can seem real because they sometimes are.
Deviating from my rough, this had better make sense.
Oh no, I've misplaced my other page!

Sunday, March 22, 2015

There's a saying, to put yourself in other people's shoes...

I was slothfully very young when told to put myself in the shoes of others. I understood it was not to be literally. I wouldn't have done that with other's stinky shoes, being a gross child, myself. I heard it from all sorts of directions. I've heard children are sponges. I certainly thought about some of the things I was aware of hearing and I thought about what it would be like to be someone else. That must be when the bad dreams started .
There's the story of the boy that cried wolf. I'll never understand why anyone would willingly prefer to be a parasitic psycho for the cheap thrills of de-molecularizing their own DNA just to be a nasty something or other liar, etc. Not only does the boy put himself in danger making stuff up and gets himself killed but it's for the very reason he loses credibility so that no one believes him when he finally does tell the truth. No one comes to his aid when he screams for it. I had a vivid imagination, could see and hear the god-awful visuals playing out and don't feel it's necessary to put forth gory details .
So psychos say, too, that honesty is everything while using the come hither articulations that sound so good to those that want to believe them as they complain about the dishonesty of certain folk that may or not be dishonest, depending on what party who is affiliated with. There are so many camps that make stuff up and are so obviously wrong, like a boy thinking it would be fun to have the villagers run out to his rescue until he'd no longer be believed. Political, religious, judicial... Is there global warming climate change? Is poison being purposefully put into our food? Is there a Jesus? I have my own answers to these questions and they are all meaningless to me as far as others telling me what's what. A slow extinction is happening now to all life forms so I'm not even worried about the possible zombie apocalypse I keep hearing about... an extra strong oncoming rabies epidemic?
When I was in first grade and was handed a questionnaire that wanted a box checked for my race, the woman alleging to be my mother told me to mark caucasian, that I could pass for a whitey and life would be easier. Why the school sent that questionnaire out when the government has its census stuff to waste more time on seems like an extra waste of time. They never taught me what caucasian meant, which seems to be wrong anyhow since I wasn't born in the caucus mountains and I didn't figure it out for years. Being a whitey is not as helpful as I was told, either.
The superior religious family I was allegedly lucky to be in, of husband patriarch, wife and three point whatever children may as well have had a grand master dragon saying grace at the head of the table. There were no discussions about news, literature, history... Life was just an empty merry go round of school, church and the not so merry with the go rounds, as we emulated the peaceful jesus bringing a sword. And we were to be happy, alway happy to not have the contradictions explained. while chewing tough, jaw aching liver, be happy we weren't starving in China.
While it's possible to empathize with how others think or feel, I as my body could never sprout from anywhere other than whence I came.
With an unnoticed certain word used that I also didn't quite understand, in conjunction with the idea that a certain other group were in danger of certain hot lower than southern places because they were said to have killed a god or a god's son, depending on the church we went to at the time, rarely mentioned as it was, mortal people killed some son of a god, a saviour... that got killed... by Roman soldiers... being told what to do by an enslaved people?
I never understood it then, I'll never understand it now. A slave threatened by soldiers might say anything.
The separation of church and state was being made a bit of a big deal of. Being taught the pledge of allegiance to an inanimate banner, figure head, standard that can have its meaning changed with its vague symbols and all anyone has to do is claim they're superior with authority and they can take a pair of twins and try to sew the eyes of one onto the back of the head of the other? The shwastica was once a symbol for good things and it was easily tainted.
I had to listen to preachers that should never find a soapbox as they stand behind fancy podiums bought from tithes and pretend to explain what this god in heaven wants or intends while said god is supposedly unknowable and saying saying black people were created to be slaves and the Jewish people would really learn about suffering when jesus allegedly finally comes back. That was way back in the 1970s, it was, "any day now!"
Nostradamus, yeah I could have the spelling wrong, predictions for the end, THE END! was estimated for the late 1980s. I had. written it down from a documentary that was on a cable channel back then.
There's a really interesting book called Popular Delusions and the Madness of the Crowds. Or something like that. It's sort of like a grown-up. Goops and How Not to be One. I can't remember the authors but those are something to remember :) I guess for some,, not forcing a mind to rot through non-reasoning is near impossible though I still may not have half a mind, even. Did I say that right? or backwards?
Remembering fondly of walking through the front door after school and hearing an already brewing tirade of what rotten brats we were, "why can't you put yourselves in my shoes?! And I would think, why do they act like they've got it so hard if this is their free will and, you should be happy you're not starving in China..." I had enough brain to not say that outloud. So we took turns putting ma's high heeled shoes on. It seems the phrase is more for mental posturing and false sympathy, comparing who I've learned whatever from. To find out later that the favorite, baby of the house was getting into things. so older siblings would be punished for the evil steps they're to be and a superior wise parent cares not about what's fair with, "Tough!" If women are like, childishly bouncing around with confused hormonal emotions expecting that having children will be like playing with dolls that girls are given to pretend nurturing, they're in for a miserable struggle against against what churches and allegedly Hitler call "material" that matter called evil simply for being the husk "created" fer killin'.
And that's another thing, another long page made short. Are we agreed that if psychos are happiest in making others miserable, then true misery is not interested in company or coming close to those shoes to wear.
That bad saying of misery loving company, when it's psychos are at their happiest in causing miseries, organizing project paperclips and Tuskegee syphilis experiments.
When I had my few miserable moments, it's been years since I had a headache, cold or vomited... But I was never in the mood to have anyone around me or be around anyone that could complain of my moaning and make me feel worse, which must make me a false psycho to laugh about it. If putting myself in the shoes of others makes me a negative downer, so it is done.
End on a joke? Knock knock.
Who's there?
I know, it's a terrible joke.
Leave a comment, whatever.

Sunday, March 15, 2015

If brainwaves are real then thought becomes matter...

...and the subconscious is under unconscious attack.

Since the first "enlightened" splitting of that first amoeba what's future generations of triple double negatives would later become the varieties of life, including monkeys that would later have mutated offspring that later become humans, ALL material life sheds materials, whether a meal becomes excrement, pain forms tears dripping from eyes, exertion causes perspiration, the mysterious mind of which intellect supposedly forms has thoughts and dreams that move through air like a current in water or mist in a breeze, fog from moist ground or ocean sprays fanning outward, bouncing off of some objects or other thoughts or being absorbed by others with stronger densities. Science is a physical matter from our earliest primordial darkness.

It's claimed that the light of spirituality has consciousness and strength superior to the material it divides to be host to it, using emotions of fear or ecstasy to punish or reward its captives from within. It hasn't perfected the techniques to fool and betray the hand that feeds it the very life being taken, as any parasite that feeds off the host. There is still life on this planet they pray to an alleged superior to destroy.
Chemical reactions, hallucinations, the puppeteering of bodily functions promote degradations towards accepting that demons made by god or satan exist and are after souls or that angels can rescue the victims, if offerings are made. If spirit is real, then it is material also, to be able to manipulate. Religion comes into being so that a weakened host can be given meaning, for to give proof of worthiness in that weakness and follow the deadly, mortal directions of voices that command death, against strangers, their own children, against themselves.. Why else would they've opened themselves and whoever to worsen their diseases with self-whooping, walking barefoot to let the feet get cut up and infected, fasting and overwork until exhaustion screams night hags in their ears and on their chests...

Their bodies know something is terribly wrong but the damage messes with the gut/mind communications... devils is the only answer they'll accept as they program themselves with prayer to be ever weaker and needy... like a humanized god would want to take care of weak and needy people that look more and more fried to go with that bacon cologne.