Not writing the days as they blend in the black of my zebra crumbed coffee...

I don't know why reading about cockfights and such would make me think of my alleged siblings and how our christian parents sicked us against each other, to be kicked in the throat and in turn, kick a crotch, nearly losing an eye and being strangled until the only thing that stops the fight is who puked on who first. It was what it was. We'd wash for dinner and someone said grace.
So many people "feel" safe if they think they're in a safe environment. It seems if they're religious, they think a god or angels, whatever, protects them, it seems. It's irrelevant that hearing of death for an hour or more every Sunday, it just doesn't seem to stop them from being nasty to whoever they're inspired to be nasty to. I wonder, if someone broke into their homes late at night and woke them up by hitting a staticy balloon in the face, no matter how bizarre the intruder looked or if the intruder was more frightened of the lady of the house for all the skin creams she'd have on her face, would the accosted not remember? Would the assaulted be so surprised that their fragile brains would make something up or replace the memory with something seemingly more tolerable?
I think if some stupid clown broke into my cardboard animal cracker box to molest me with a balloon or something else, something worse, I'd freaking well remember it.
Sometimes people are believed when some jerk in a costume does something. Sometimes these stories are made up by attention seekers or schizophrenics, etc. I'd rather be known for honesty than for the attention that many unfortunates that don't consider or care how history views them. Not that history will know me, I thank me. I shall never remember the name of that guy that killed some other guy for the fame of it. But I'll always remember a big dog bursting through a screen to maul me. I had been humming to myself. I'm told I attracted the attack.
Short of brain injuries caused on purpose or by accident, it will never be plausible that a brain would betray itself by making stuff up to fill in strange gaps that should not be artificially filled and should simply not be there. Fuzzy memory? Seemed like a dream? Ever work out a puzzle? Sleep paralysis is also not natural. I've almost always been partially conscious of moving to relieve stiffness while sleeping, waking with mild pins and needles, shaking an arm or a foot, going back to sleep. I've also woken suddenly with a feeling of about to be jumped on to find a spider on the ceiling above my head, no longer bothered by an older sibling wanting something like some sanity or whatever. It would be nice to be so comfortable that there would never be a need to move. Unfortunately, you need to move. Laying still too long causes soreness.
Which brings me back to home intruders. If they're human, you're up and running. If it's a bear or some type of animal, you're up and running. If you're telling the truth then people should believe you. There will be evidence, somewhere. But that clown with the long narrow balloon that was not twisted into animal shapes for anyone's amusement but the clown's, do you know what I'm saying. (hear the echo with me) A-L-I-E-N-S. And a little bit of nasty I read about, of sci-fi aliens that I still consider illegal, if they're real, if I've got to buy an i.d. card or driver's license, those expletives should also. Sorry I can't remember the source of where I read this...
"They harvest memories through our eyes...?"
They "wait for us to breed out aggression ...?"
Are "collecting massive amounts of information ..."???
For some people, these aliens only observe, while "taking ideas and implanting ideas..."??????
There may be some paraphrasing but I've heard this many times before from many others.
Taking and implanting is NOT "just" observation. That's a mental something-handling, if not man-handling. That's violating a brain, a mind, the body, which the two are still somewhat connected to some bodies . It's MANIPULATIONS . The sort that psychos assume.
I've come to see these noncredible "super advanced and superior life forms" as nothing more the the charlatry of psychic /medium/spiritualists. They're all clowns waiting to hit you in the face with a balloon or worse... give everyone a cream pie/pearl necklace.
Any psychic that never mentions a body has no need for spirits, the parasites driving the most vile inspirational brainwaves... Any alien thinking that cripples an infant or animal in the ways that has been done and then say. "grow up..." as people say of humanity with the god of various institutions that argue against change, argue against evolving, fighting to stay as it perfectly is... They are parasitic intruders with pies to lob, pies with hidden bricks.
And "bless" their putrified hearts, they do look like clowns too! I was angry when I wrote this on paper. At least I'm not responsible for a satan, as I sometimes joke. These are just thoughts that may not be my own. There is no forgetting that, maybe.
Aggression is bred into everything as a positive spiritual and religious "thang" , if people want to play that good versus evil game of war with their own demony dark sides they're taught to hate with guilt and try to conquer.
That's how I was taught in churches where ever we were sent. If anyone was learning anything "spiritually " the way it's expected, it should all be done already .
But it's not.
The same things are still going on "under god's unchanging love."

But I don't wanna hibernate...

I've been eating something hot recently and the pains of it hasn't been going away. There were days when I could eat two whole zebras for breakfast, which usually was really lunch if I got up past noon after being up reeaallly, really late doing things. Then two zebras dwindled down to one, then half of one. Then I didn't want zebras for breakfast or lunch. Or dessert .
I did eat other, more healthy - wholesome.- things, fruit and vegetables. Real food does make a body feel better. Better than non-food. I'm.lucky I can eat nuts but crunchy things tend to hurt my seemingly pepper stripped mouth. It's become a craving though, as I've been searching for something to give me more energy.
So sleepy lately. Putting vinegar in some food is not much help, especially when I have some sitting in a cup I forgot and poured my coffee into.
Oh - my - mouth... That was as bad as brushing my teeth andtaking a thirsty sip of orange juice. I tried to finish my coffee, didn't want to waste it but the vinegar got thicker towards the bottom of the cup. I had drunk half and then the smell of it was too much.
I want to go through my paper bundle notebooks and find the weird and nearly fun stuff. Maybe when the weather's warmer. Almost there. If I'm still around.
I've not been reading about links as I should. This touchscreen thing wants to act like simple things are complicated. Yeah, it's all the inanimate object's fault... as I ferget something and take another awful sip.
XP

An Experiment ...

My brand new rickshaw is motorized. The enclosure resembles the inside of a carriage. There's a tiny mirror ball that spins overhead at a moderate speed, reflecting purple lighting spots onto the pink and green interior. I do not usually listen to music. However, Abba seems a good choice to play while a harmless fog machine bellows out a harmless lavender cloud of mystery around the driver, my fellow sloth and myself as we circle my castle near the mountains in the state of New York.
I have finished my first two comics, the first I shall not yet name. And the second, EVIL SLOTH LIVE, has been easily published and is doing very well among my millions of fans.
Dare I say, BILLIONS...

Fun times...

I may not be good with writing however great I think it must be as I read what my hands itch my brain to scratch out. And when I try posting, I try to type it up very carefully with one finger usually holding my place in my notebook.
I cheat. I look at my words as I skim over the alphabet and all. And I keep a very sharp attention on that blinking cursor line, as much as possible. I realize that a broken record is beginning to take form, turning into a bad habit as if it wants to be a catch phrase and there are so many years worth of this as a one-liner, almost enough to be overused. I avoid the religious channel because of them saying what echoes at me from the past. And there was something really funny that I wanted to start this post off with.
But I've forgotten.
I feel like nibbling, at least until I remember .
I'd like to finish my Cloverfield Two before posting more on my Evil Sloth 4 Ever blog so maybe I should put a poem in the second post or just leave it in an organised mess. Or a disorganized mess. WHAT WAS THAT FUNNY THOUGHT! REMEMBER!
Oh well... ah...

I was looking at "reptillian shapeshifters" (?) on YouTube and there's a video recording of a newslady with really well-done makeup, gorgeous right down to that metallic brown eyeshadow. Then the voice of the guy recording her says to watch her eyes. I watched. I missed his gist at first because the metallic eyeshadow was distractingly reflecting the bright studio light at a badly pixelated moment... oh,that was it?The metallic eyeshadow possibly interfering with the pixelation? I hope no one thinks she's evil like me...oops.... I hope she's safe enough.

I wonder if anyone would let me know what sort of app or special effect software was used, what technique for those goblin footage videos that are too blurry to really make out. When the people jump screaming that, allegedly, something a foot or so tall is walking or running across the room, the normal humans in the videos almost always scream the same way with nearly the same reactions as if it's a plague rat or something. If I were a goblin, I'd be offended. I haven't seen anything where someone just remains silent and follows the little critter, see how it got in and calk up that whatever, hole in the wall, dimensional portal in the floor.
They never follow. And that's it? They stop recording? They don't go check it out? No reaching down like King Kong to lift the little fellow for possible communication in man-handling, fer a closer look-see?
Oh, I'm missing Community!

Purging that, "Goin' ta hell..."

I just know there was another paragraph on Mrs. Bates being innocent that I can't find in my rough draft now. Okay, I confess I had fallen on my head. But that was years ago. And not once, but twice. And then there's that ongoing joke that many seem to think is funny, smacking a kid in the head (not a goat). Even if an adult thinks it knows a child did something inspiringly stupid, either seeing the kid running into traffic or being accused of something that gets that "palm upside the head" or worse, worse than soap in the mouth,a violent beating, it really was never funny. Seeing such things in comedies is something else. I can laugh with everyone else remembering those good old days that seem to be a cue for a majority that it's acceptable. to abuse your children with hypocritical notion. Yeah, I didn't say fudge, I said that f-word the way I heard it, from the adults I'm told to emulate...
No one has to believe in concussional brain damage while it happens. Maybe that's why I have a few minor memory problems, learning problems, like having to read google help over and over for a month before something makes sense. I'm not gonna whack my head against a brick wall. But I'll read something two or three times, think about it, go somewhere else while yelling at myself to figure it out, go back after a day or so,, read it again and so on. And I think I've finally got that line break figured out!
This makes me feel, not smart like I'd always been promised when praying to be smart, although nobody asked me what I prayed for, learning later that world peace is negated by those inspired to want war, so I'm not happy about it. I'm more keen to get to the next puzzle...
If this contraption can accomplish such,like trying out links, though I'd prefer to understand them, if not completely, at least well enough. It's my trial and error and maybe might could help out some other marshbillies what's got people tellin' them ta do nothin' but let a good lord look after them and not keep said promises so nasty justifications can be assumed so others, always others, can be sent ta hell like I'm supposedly goin'. I just can't seem to help myself:) Oops, no god here.

Still about D. Abbey...AND THIS DARN MONKEY POO!

The cursor DID jump away from me and just WOULD NOT go where I wanted it. I DID NOT TOUCH V! Fifteen minutes with no patience that had evaporated long ago and everyone makes mistakes so I perform my own calming ritual I liken to an exploding supernova (mentally) and it dissolves... I thought there was a "new page" option but it's not here now. Oh, how there'd better NOT be those alternate realities of millions of mes going through the same yet alternate annoyances as I try to get back to my original draft... Oh, I can't yet. The distractions of others suddenly walking around as I wait for elusive solitude again forces me to simmer evily today, like any other day, as I wait on, well, nothing anymore, calming as I go back to a blog, in a universe that seems to want me to be evil though I'd rather WATCH the Angry Beavers, not be one. It was only last year I tried for email, unsure as I was, doing such a wicked thing on my own. Yes, even tho those that told me any and every action is wicked and godless and I should just sit in that corner until that lord came, am I to be as Lucifer waiting under the warring heavens ... No Jesus is telling me how to do anything. Unfortunately, tho I'm anti-spiritual because of religion, working like a monkey with a puzzle, I'm compelled to purge myself of the vomity black mass that is splintering in light, made into a "beautiful" prism that dangles at the end of an anglerfish. Color me a rainbow from the darkness divided by light. So many thoughts crowd my brain, so much more to read and learn; fix an error on my reading list by not doing anything? Will my personal dams burst quicker with bubblegum plugs or hold steady by hope alone?,?? After reading some Candy Corn Chronicles and waiting 24 hours, it did seem to reboot. Is reboot a good word? Or maybe I did something different, like touch the reading list first before the add even tho there was no instruction for it after pressing the help. I certainly did not laugh and hum like a maniac as I usually do.. I had been a little giddy to receive a comment and assume that my reply went through. And so I'll go thru some of my paper bundle notebooks for what I deem necessary or interesting. Shall it be from my own sad and angry stash, things funnier than a serial killer whacking a hero in the head with a shovel (bad Jason movie)? Maybe I'll write my Cloverfield fanfiction. I also wrote something years ago titled. Field of Clovers,, years before Cloverfield came out. There may be some similarities but nothing to make me need a foil hat. I have my own theories about physics type stuff and strangely, a certain someone of the faithful crowd told me I should start my own George Carlin-esque religion because of my schizophrenic crazy talk. Unbelievable as it all is but life is a soap opera where nice people become nasty villains and bad guys turn into heroes and switch back and then trade places again, all while everything is to stay the never-changing way away from its own evolution. Maybe after supper I'll look for that bibble of mine that I started writing a couple of years ago :P

A question about Downton Abbey,

can anyone tell me what happens to Mrs. Bates? I had missed the past couple of weeks,3 or 4, and as far as I'm concerned, she's totally innocent and I want her husband to be innocent, too, but I've been missing it. I'm also curious if Baxter helped Thomas out of some problem, are they on friendly terms now?... Next, should I go back to the hatemail of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster? I look to the left of the dashboard and wonder what's on the "next blog" and immediately some bible verse slaps my eyes with ¿proverbs 3:5-6! Basically saying to pretend everything is okay and never be responsible by learning to rely on yoursel, on your own gut instincts that came with us from our primordial whatevers, as this lord will be responsible for all that happens (and I'm taking this personally, blogger's added meaning, too) for all that happens and everyone is to become brittle-narrow without acceptable qualities and variety, on the "straight" path of others' opinions... I read the profile and this person seems terrified of something, life? Death? The inbetween? She keeps praising his "holy" name, halle-lu-whatever.... I should go back and figure out line breaks... When I see or here stuff like this I can't help but think of the decades wasted on belief, bible reading and prayer. Anyone faithfully waiting on that Jesus to make them good and have that wonderful life that preachers promise will be waiting until their own end of days. Shall I never use the "next blog" again? Darning it, I always deviat from my rough drafts to add more evil, remembering those evil days of youth, being told to trust in that lord and do as your elders direct and then they tell you to do things that conflict with what they just said and where's that Jesus when an older boy wants to mule you with candy bars in the socks or other elders tell you to pull your pants down and your praying that one of you drops dead or something and at least a candy bar is more than the love of a snicker'n whoop'n for things you didn't steal OR accept... I've been reading a lot of blogs lately, so many sad and angry ones. Up past 3am and it's after noon, still sleepy after coffee and more shocked that Mrs. Bates was arrested, HO DARE THEY! I'm still only vaguely aware of the possibilities.of this blog world, havinglearned texting only three or so years ago. I think the cursor jumped away from me so I''ll, maybe not finish on another page... what a distraction making me lose where I was as I was saying of possibilities of this blog world I originally pictured as a newspaper styled opinion pagev